love designs the dance, biology times it
April 5, 2009
It was definitely not what I would have chosen for a first birth (cows totally do not count). This hospital’s birthing procedures are pretty modern for 1954 standards: analgesics are pushed on the clients, everyone gives birth in the lithotomy position, babies are whisked away to the nurseries as soon as is humanly possible. But damn if it wasn’t beautiful anyways. Without a doubt, the most amazing, awesome, faith-inspiring event I have ever had the privilege to witness. I can’t get over it.
The parents were incredibly gracious for letting me assist. The mom was a primagravida, which makes her even braver for letting a wet-behind-the-ears novice anywhere near her pudenda. The dad was a mess. Someone must have told him that his main role was to be a cheerleader, because he must have said “Honey, you’re awesome” twenty thousand times. (Note to birth support people: mindless repetition of a supportive phrase=not as helpful as you think). His wife was doing a remarkable job of not biting his fool head off, despite clearly wanting to. He was too busy asking me if she had torn yet to notice. Very concerned with tearing, he was. He redeemed himself by crying buckets at the end. The mom was lovely throughout, calm and cool and unconcerned. The power of pain killers.
The actual birth was unreal. You get to where you’ve been staring at this tennis-ball sized patch of hair for an hour, and you’re convinced that’s all there is. This isn’t a baby, it’s a tennis ball with a scalp. And it’s stuck. And then the tennis ball starts to rotate, and it’s a tennis ball with a face, then shoulders, then holy jesus in heaven it’s a baby. And it blinks and breaths and screams and everyone claps and cries and yells congratulations, and the student nurse looks on in unbreathing shocked awe and can’t even begin to process it. Life pulls a fast one on death. Love trumps indifference. Peace settles in and fear departs for point north.
Gak, I get flowery in my exhaustion. Here’s a departing quote from the mother on the birthing video the hospital made her watch:
“All the laboring women in the video were naked. I think they were in Colorado. ::Shakes head:: There are hippies out there, right?”
And the dad:
“Holy shit you made a person!”
monday: st. peter’s cathedral
March 11, 2009
imposing exterior shot
Deep in my soul, I’m still a religion major, and the cathedrals in this town make my knees go weak. Seriously gorgeous, and jam-packed with historical goodness. Geneva was John Calvin’s Reformation Headquarters, and his thugs ransacked most of the old Catholic churches, including St. Peter’s, in the heart of the old city. At least the stained glass windows were spared.
Inside St. Peter's Cathedral
i wish i were as talented as O at this...
For four Francs, you were allowed to climb eleventy billion stairs and take photographs from the South Tower. I did one better and broke into the Bell Tower (“No Tourists” but it’s ok, I’m a scholar). I paid for it when noon rolled around…one day my hearing will be the same. Here are the pics from the tower (the bell tower was not lit, so those sadly did not turn out):
L'Jet d'Eau and Lake from St. Peter's
The Orthodox Church and the Alps from the top of St. Peter's
More later, too much red wine has laid me low.
switzerland, pt 1
March 10, 2009
Here are the first pictures from Switzerland. O and i took a train ride around Lac Leman on Sunday, and ended up at Castle Chillion (otherwise known as ashley’s first castle). It was awesome-moat, dungeon, everything you could wish for in a structure built in the 12th century. We stayed too late, so they started turning out the lights on us, and it turned into the Escape from Castle Chillon (which, tons of steep-ass stairs + rooms built for people not over 5 feet tall + if any place is haunted, it’s this place= adventure).
Anyhow, here’s the first batch of pictures. More later!
i'm either gnawing on the moss, or re-enacting rapunzel.
The view from the top of the keep.
Sunset over the Alps.
This display had O laughing her ass off for the next ten minutes. i think it was the pointy helmets.
O's said something that offended my honor. i think i'm being used to hide an offending bit of not-perfectly-picturesque scenery.
O finally lets me get a pic of her.
quick one before i disappear
March 4, 2009
Hi all! So, I survived my psych rotation (no word on whether I passed it or not yet). The last few weeks were much better, hell, on the last night we even managed to have a Patsy Cline/Dolly Parton sing along. I’m dying to know where these yankees got their superb taste in music. I am officially 18 weeks away from being done with the RN.
Anyhow, I’m about to head off into the sunset for a much needed brain-resetting. Friday I leave for Europe, and I’ll be in Geneva/Paris from March 6-18th. After that I’ll be in Tennessee for a much-dreaded family wedding, and back in New Haven on the 23rd.
belated happy v-day and animated shorts for all
February 16, 2009
Here’s two of the Oscar-nominated animated shorts, both rather adorable and suitable for the time of year.
First off, a tale of star-crossed octopi love:
The Academy screwed up by not giving WallE a best picture nom. If you’re participating in an Oscar pool, definitely choose Le Maison en Petits Cubes as your animated short pick. It’s a sure-fire win, as per my resident animation expert.
sometimes february just gets to you…
February 10, 2009
so you do something stupid.
Like when I let myself be convinced that dyeing the bottom four inches of my hair black would cheer me up. Not my best look ever, but the way most people reacted was priceless. Especially at work.
Today’s stupid decision was much less entertaining. We were being tested on sterile techniques and tracheostomies, and for some reason I got the twenty year old kit with the latex gloves. The TA nearly stabbed me with an epipen. Good times.
Now that I think about it, yesterday’s stupid decision led to me clinging to an iced-over boulder way too far from the ground, without anyone knowing where I was. I need for daylight savings time to come soon, apparently sunlight is necessary for southerners to make rational decisions.
life on the locked ward
February 6, 2009
Yesterday was one of the craziest clinical days I’ve had yet. We had a patient attack one of the techs, so he was tackled by three security guards and forcibly injected with haldol. Another patient had been admitted for “lack of boundaries and sexual inappropriateness,” and let’s just say, that’s an understatement of the decade. For the last three weeks I’ve been spending Thursday and Friday nights on a locked psychiatric floor. I had originally thought I was placed on an adolescent unit, but it turns out I’m working on a geriatric ward. Most of the patients on the floor have advanced dementia or severe depression (or both). It’s an incredibly difficult floor to work on, and the doctors and nurses who choose to specialize in geri psych must be saints or angels. The unit is incredibly short staffed, there are typically two nurses for 14-16 patients, and a suicidal patient is an automatic 1:1, leaving one nurse to care for everyone else. The administration of the hospital thinks psychiatric patients require less of a nurses time because they don’t have “medical” diagnoses, which is an incredible load of bull. Additionally, pretty much all the geri patients have a medical diagnoses too — hypertension, history of CVAs, MRSA, diabetes, advanced osteoporosis, you name it. I used to be annoyed by the nurses infantilization or constant brushing-off of patients (and I still am a little bit), but they do an incredible amount of work with very limited resources.
Of course, something like 70% of the nurses’ time is wasted on tasks aimed entirely at reducing hospital liability. Restraints are largely used because our patients are very unsteady on their feet, and there aren’t enough staff to help them ambulate (wandering is a major symptom of Alzheimer’s, most of my patients would constantly pace the ward if they could.) Falls are a major liability risk, so you tie them to a chair. And then you chart about it. (God help you if a patient falls on your watch, there’s a mountain of paperwork that comes with that.) The ward is also locked to reduce liability, which tends to backfire. The locked doors naturally become a fixation for the patients, which leads to near-constant escape attempts (we had a patient who managed to pick the lock twice, once with a christmas ornament, and once with a jigsaw puzzle piece. I was always rooting for her to finally get away.), which eats up even more of the nurses’ time. And then they have to chart about it. If the doors were unlocked and another two or three staff members were hired, I think the atmosphere on the floor would be dramatically changed for the better.
One of my patients has been on the ward for the entire three weeks I’ve been there. He has advanced Alzheimer’s dementia, which is beginning to effect his verbal abilities. It’s very sad, he has some amazing stories to tell. He was a bomber pilot in World War II. (I would link to a picture of the plane he flew, but I worry about HIPPA regulations. Anyhow, imagine a cute punny plane nick-name and some awesome bomber art here.) He has a photo album filled with old pictures, and he usually doesn’t remember who’s in the pictures at all. Yesterday though, I was commenting how difficult flying must have been, and he said “No, honey, it’s easy,” and started to tell me about training exercises with his buddies from the war. It was good times, even if most of last night gave me nightmares. Anyhow, it’s time to go back. Hopefully today will be slightly less excitement filled.
did you know it’s placenta day?
February 3, 2009
From Olessia, who still has a webcomic habit: Baby what?
I don’t think babies offer much resistance against sharp pointy weapony things.
random thoughts
February 3, 2009
1)When you give yourself a concussion at 6am, it’s a bad idea to take an exam at 8am. Goodbye, honors in pharm….
2)One of the most common Google hits this blogs gets is “evidence of hell,” due to this post . Disturbing. I don’t believe in hell (well, typically, don’t ask me at 4am), and I think focusing on the afterlife (particularly punishment for those who believe differently) is symptomatic of religion gone horribly wrong. Faith shouldn’t leave you feeling comfortably xenophobic. And I’m talking about religion after being seriously clonked on the head.
procrastination, thy name is ashley…
February 2, 2009
but overheard in new york is really fucking funny.
Some People Shouldn’t Watch NOVA
Backpacker #1: What’s up with this DNA crap?
Backpacker #2: Yeah, I know…
Backpacker #1: Yeah… Like, that spiral staircase they show on TV — where is that in your body?
Backpacker #2: Yeah, dude, for real.
Backpacker #1: Yeah, man, you can’t trust science.
–Brooklyn-bound 4 train
via Overheard in New York, Dec 12, 2006
