love designs the dance, biology times it

It was definitely not what I would have chosen for a first birth (cows totally do not count).  This hospital’s birthing procedures are pretty modern for 1954 standards: analgesics are pushed on the clients, everyone gives birth in the lithotomy position, babies are whisked away to the nurseries as soon as is humanly possible. But damn if it wasn’t beautiful anyways. Without a doubt, the most amazing, awesome, faith-inspiring event I have ever had the privilege to witness. I can’t get over it.

The parents were incredibly gracious for letting me assist. The mom was a primagravida, which makes her even braver for letting a wet-behind-the-ears novice anywhere near her pudenda.  The dad was a mess.  Someone must have told him that his main role was to be a cheerleader, because he must have said “Honey, you’re awesome” twenty thousand times.  (Note to birth support people: mindless repetition of a supportive phrase=not as helpful as you think). His wife was doing a remarkable job of not biting his fool head off, despite clearly wanting to.  He was too busy asking me if she had torn yet to notice. Very concerned with tearing, he was. He redeemed himself by crying buckets at the end. The mom was lovely throughout, calm and cool and unconcerned. The power of pain killers.

The actual birth was unreal. You get to where you’ve been staring at this tennis-ball sized patch of hair for an hour, and you’re convinced that’s all there is. This isn’t a baby, it’s a tennis ball with a scalp. And it’s stuck. And then the tennis ball starts to rotate, and it’s a tennis ball with a face, then shoulders, then holy jesus in heaven it’s a baby. And it blinks and breaths and screams and everyone claps and cries and yells congratulations, and the student nurse looks on in unbreathing shocked awe and can’t even begin to process it.  Life pulls a fast one on death. Love trumps indifference. Peace settles in and fear departs for point north.

Gak, I get flowery in my exhaustion. Here’s a departing quote from the mother on the birthing video the hospital made her watch:

“All the laboring women in the video were naked. I think they were in Colorado. ::Shakes head:: There are hippies out there, right?”

And the dad:

“Holy shit you made a person!”